It's nearing midnight on a Saturday evening.  With the exception of a couple restroom breaks, you've been in the same high school auditorium seat since 8:00 this morning.  Just 29 more acts to go and they should be ready to start awards by 2:00am.  You've endured 3 angst-filled hours of lyrical solos, witnessed 17 interpretations of the work of Bob Fosse, and acted surprised all 11 (or was it 12) times a flock of 6-year-olds emerged from within oversized props.  You've handled it all with good spirits, a couple triple lattes and the patience of a saint, but at this hour you're a ticking time bomb, and if you hear "Rubberneckin'" one more time you just might snap.

Sound a little too familiar?

If so, a dance dad may have come up with a way to help put a little fun back in the experience for dance parents.  Enter "Dance Competition BINGO" -- the game where you win by predicting the overused songs that you are most likely to hear at the competition.

Here's how it works:

• Each dance parent starts with a blank 25-square Dance Competition BINGO card.
• Prior to the competition and before the schedule of dances has been published on the competition's website, players fill in their BINGO cards with the names of 25 dances they believe they are likely to see at the next competition. 
• Collect and keep the cards until the next competition.
• At the competition, each time an act is introduced, it's the same as a BINGO caller announcing "B-6" or "O-73."  Players who have that act listed on their Dance Competition BINGO card cross off the box.
• The game continues until a parent scores a traditional BINGO -- marking 5 consecutive squares either across, up-and-down or diagonally.

A few additional thoughts on the game...

Don't be fooled by the order that dances are listed on the official competition program, rookie.  We all know that traffic jams, elaborate costume changes, excessive hallway rehearsals, music malfunctions, flawed scheduling, and mother-daughter meltdowns are among the many wildcards that can and usually do wreak havoc on the scheduled order of dances.  "Copacabana" may be listed as act #141, but it could go on 70 numbers before or 111 numbers after act #140.  That's the beauty of dance competition scheduling!  ;-)

For an added twist, you might consider one or more of the following optional rules:

• Allow each player, in one square of their choosing, to write "Anything from [show name]."  For example:  If the player writes "Anything from Chicago" they get to cross off that box if anything from that show is performed... "Cell Block Tango," "And All That Jazz" and so forth.
• Allow each player, in one square of their choosing, to write "Anything by [artist name.]."  For example:  If the player writes "Anything by Michael Jackson" they get to cross off that box if anything from The King of Pop is performed... "Billie Jean," "Bad," "Smooth Criminal" and so forth.
• Allow players to repeat dance names in as many squares as they choose.  If they think they'll hear "Steam Heat" 3 times, let them write it in 3 squares.  This rule celebrates the tendency of dance teachers to overuse some songs.

  When playing with any of the optional rules it is important to note that you may only cross off one box per dance routine.  If a dance is announced that fits what you've written in more than one box, you'll have to decide on the strategy that works best for your game and select just one box to mark.

Finally, a few thoughts for anyone who believes this game is in any way disrespectful toward the competitions or the dancers:

• Stop walking up and down the aisles while dancers are on stage.
• Stop talking to the person next to you, the person 6 rows away and the person on the other end of your cell phone while dancers are on stage.
• Stop reading your book, your magazine or your newspaper while dancers are on stage.
• Stop answering emails and playing solitaire on your laptop while dancers are on stage.
• Stop clipping coupons, sleeping, breast feeding, or knitting while dancers are on stage.
• Stop screaming "Go, Amanda!" and "Work it, Girl!" while dancers are on stage.
• Stop taking flash photos while dancers are on stage.
• Stop bringing your crying baby into the auditorium while dancers are on stage.
• Stop banging your thunderstick, clappers, cow bells and other noisemakers while dancers are on stage.

Stop doing all of those things, and then you can pass judgment on Dance Competition BINGO.  This game doesn't encourage or involve any acts of disrespect or distraction toward dancers or audience members.  Marking a Dance Competition BINGO card involves the same action performed by a parent dutifully checking off each completed dance in the dance competition program book.

Life is short and dance competitions are long.  Have a little fun with both of them.